I’m going to share what happened to me this week (ouch) when I didn’t follow my own intuition about a hunch I was getting.
All week I had a niggly gut wrenching feeling that I needed to make some tweaks and changes to the weekly group – Expression Sessions I was planning on starting this month.
When trying to decide whether I should offer the Expression Sessions as either weekly, fortnightly, monthly or even as a Workshop format, my heart said ‘it feels too restrictive’ to my own freedom to offer a weekly group.
But my logic said ‘do it weekly! People will become familiar with which day of the week its on”.
I went with the logic.
I’d made my decision and I was committed to it.
I did an angel card reading. I chose the card of ‘Balance’.
This card clearly told me that life can feel as though there aren’t enough hours in the day when too much energy is spent in any given area, and to make sure I was leaving enough time for myself.
I put the card back in the deck feeling uneasy and tried to forget about it.
I’d already made my commitment to offer a weekly group and so in keeping consistent with this decision, I went against that uneasy-in-the-gut feeling and posted on Facebook that the Expression Sessions would be happening as a weekly group.
Literally within 2 minutes of doing this whilst fixing a snack for my 18 month old Son, I sliced through the webbing between my thumb & index finger.
Being someone who ALWAYS looks for the metaphysical reasoning behind everything, I stopped, and said to my partner “Gee! I’ve just sliced my finger literally 2 minutes after posting to FB about my weekly group! I wonder why that is”?
This was HUNCH #1. But being committed to my earlier decision meant I was staying consistent with my actions and continuing on...
10 minutes later whilst still prepping that same meal, I picked up a boiling hot colander which had accidentally been left on the hot plate and sizzled 3 of my fingers so badly.
Bloody OUCH!!! What is happening?
This must be some bad Ju Ju. It can’t possibly be my intuition trying to tell me something (Bit of Cognitive Dissonance happening here methinks!!!!) HUNCH #2
A further 10 minutes later, I took a bite of my lunch and bit my gum so damn hard my eyes watered. HUNCH #3
This time I told myself it was because ‘bad things happen in three’s’.
That night I was haunted with thoughts of feeling trapped and a feeling that I was losing my freedom.
But I kept coming to the same conclusion….’I’ve committed now, and I have to remain consistent’.
I was also distracting myself as much as I could with food and social media.
Because then I didn’t have to listen to my feelings….
The next day I went to grab some change from the jar and pushed my finger straight onto a needle which literally stabbed me right through the index finger.
I felt confused and icky at this point as that gut wrenching feeling continued to increase.
This is when I decided to call a friend to “sound out” a few things.
Like me, this friend happens to be a Life Coach too & literally within 2 minutes of ‘sounding out’ what was in my head & connecting with my feelings I realised offering a weekly group was not what I wanted to be doing!
I was doing what my logical mind said I should do and ignoring my feelings.
What I want to do is offer Expression Sessions as a Workshop! This feels light & exciting and fun and elevating!
Remember that old chestnut I mentioned earlier – Commitment & Consistency?
Well I’m reading a book titled “Influence – The Psychology of Persuasion” by Robert Cialdini.
One of the chapters explains how Humans have an almost-obsessive desire to be (AND TO APPEAR TO OTHERS!) as consistent with what we have already done.
It goes on to say that once we have taken a stand, we will encounter personal and interpersonal pressures to behave consistently with that commitment.
Let’s be honest, this is also known as “need for approval” and “caring too much about how others perceive you”
Yes….this was I.
Because why the hell else would I stay committed to a decision which was quite frankly making me feel like total crap?!!
I was literally torturing myself (slicing my fingers off, burning, needle stabbing, gum chomping) in an effort to wake me up from the claws of the need to appear consistent to others.
But who pays?
Me! Because people don’t actually really give a crap whether I offer a weekly session or a Workshop – all that stuff is in my own mind.
What a relief.
Some very important lesson’s here.
I might be great at helping others to see where they hold themselves back, but I’m only human, and I need that same help myself when I’m feeling overwhelmed!
Following your truth & intuition is FAR more important than looking consistent to others!
At the end of the day, you are the one who has to live with your decisions.
Now – to reformat my Expression Sessions into a WORKSHOP!!!
I can feel a strong energetic shift that’s taken place, all from listening to and following my humble feelings!
Sometimes we just need a little help connecting with how we really feel about a situation that’s bothering us (like in my case!)
Is this you? I’d love to help!
Natalie is a Certified Life Coach, Strategic Interventionist and NLP Practitioner. To read more about Natalie’s Services, Click HERE.